Tag Archives: Breastfeeding

When White Privilege Takes a Momentary U-Turn

police car What follows is a series of personal accounts because often without realizing it, those of us in the United States born White, like myself, have experienced a lifetime of privileges compared to people of color. This influences our views with responses like, “Why don’t they just show some respect and everything will be ok!” But what is really going on inside a person when they respond powerfully and maybe even inappropriately in situations steeped in racial profiling? Situations like the ones that prompted strong responses from Michael Brown’s killing by a White police officer in Ferguson, Missouri; Eric Garner’s choke-hold death by police in New York City or the police harassment of Professor Henry Louise Gates Jr. in front of his own home during the events that inspired the infamous “Beer Summit” at the White House in 2009. It seems there will always be fresh wounds to open up old ones for those who have these daily experiences of racism. Reminders that racism in America is far from over. One of my favorite T-shirts that I saw somewhere offers a clue into this world: “I’m tired I’ve been Black all day!”       I'm tired

Of course, all of these perspectives and how we respond to life events are directly correlated to our individual experiences that accumulate over each of our lifetimes. For the most part, we cannot possibly fathom or always have compassion for why some people do what they do; unless we have parallel experiences that offer a glimpse. As a White female, who lived a very underprivileged life as a child and adolescent, I am aware that I have still experienced White privileges; which first occurred when I was a child. Paradoxically, these early events were set in an environment where my Whiteness also offered a brief glimpse of what it must be like to be Black in America all day long.

From 1967-1969, when I was 9-12 years old I lived in East Palo Alto, California. E.P.A. was dubbed Little Nairobi at the time but it actually resembled a mini-Oakland; with only an overpass dividing its poverty-stricken Black neighborhoods from affluent White Palo Alto. Then and now, Palo Alto is one of the wealthiest communities in the country with spacious manicured yards and opulent mansions lining University Avenue. While living in E.P.A. I also received three years of Black history in elementary school.

Interestingly, those three years of Black history ended up being the foundation of my U.S. history during what was a very transient childhood before and after living in E.P.A. Long before most of the U.S. learned about the injustices of slavery from the popular mini-series Roots, I was reading Richard Wright’s Black Boy and Native Son and studying Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad. For three years I also witnessed firsthand the San Francisco Bay Area’s contrast of Black and White realities every time my mother drove us across that overpass; where I ogled the mansions lining University Avenue. black boy richard wright

Our family of five children had three who attended elementary school at the time. We were the only White children and I was the oldest. A Korean girl quickly became my best friend and there was also one Latino girl. While I learned about the history of oppression and slavery in America, I shared the experience of poverty with my school peers, and may have even been one of the recipients of the Black Panthers free breakfast program in the SF Bay Area. Though poverty was a shared experience with my peers, my White skin never allowed me to fit in. This was evident from the bullying I endured and by the beating up I received on my daily walk home from school.

Although the feeling of being a perpetual outsider has lingered throughout my life, I truly believe that the reason I did not become bitter from these terrifying, racially motivated events was because they coincided with the descriptions of the cruel Black history I was learning and reading about in the classroom every day. I understood the reasons behind the vitriol of my peers towards me; I was a walking, White target.  Then an event occurred that really cemented the reality of the Black-White disparities in America.

To be clear, I missed huge time periods of school before and after landing in E.P.A. So when I was in 6th grade and we had the standard school testing I was flabbergasted when I was listed as 1 of 3 in our 6th grade class as having made the National Junior Honor Society for our high IQ scores. It was the first commendation I ever remember earning during my elementary education and it really impacted my sense of self-worth. Aside of the self-pride I felt during this moment, something else became blatantly obvious. The other two recipients were my friends, the Korean and the Latina girls. None of the Black students in our class had made the cut! I could not understand this because there were several students in our class that were clearly much smarter than I was. Why didn’t they get to become members of this elite group that came with a special card embossed with a gold flame? Something was amiss and it was all about color but I did not quite understand how until years later when testing bias research revealed the systemic and cultural disparities as the probable reason those brilliant Black peers of mine were passed over. I’ve always wondered what happened to them. The name Skipper Hicks stands out as the smartest one in our 6th grade class that year.  definition of bias

Fast forward 20+ years later. I was an alternative high school teacher in what was labeled the Whitest County in California at the time. Here I saw the continuing trends of racial bias in the U.S. in our small alternative high school, Sierra Mountain High School; which had a higher percentage of students of color than the larger, comprehensive high school in Nevada County. As a teacher I became privy to student accounts of bullying and racial slurs that explained why students had not felt welcome at Nevada Union High School at the time; practically forcing them to attend the alternative high school for reasons of self-preservation.

Moreover, as a high school teacher, I heard numerous frustrating stories about young men in their late teens and early 20’s being stopped by police while driving. I also drove over the speed limit (occasionally) and was stopped for other things like taillights, etc. Yet, I will admit that I was a fairly good looking blonde, White female and never received a ticket during these years. I was fully aware I was experiencing privilege for my looks, age and gender more than anything else. I sympathized with these young men because I understood this level of age and gender profiling was going on; though racial profiling did not seem to be an issue at the time. Young males were familiar members of the community just as I was, but they never seemed to escape that fine or ticket.

Fast forward, 15+ years later. I was living in the Sacramento, Roseville area of California during the middle of the Recession. There I was, minding my own business, driving between Roseville and Sacramento. My driving habits had not changed. Yet, three times in two weeks, I was stopped by a police officer; two times in Roseville and once in Sacramento. I will never forget how the frustration, fear of another ticket I could not afford, and anger welled up in me at that third stop. I was livid! I was unemployed, had just lost everything in the Recession, was living with my children and working to rebuild my life at 50. I did not need another ticket.

n-SPEEDING-TICKET-large570  When the officer walked up to me, it was as if I was watching myself on an episode of Cops. For the first time in my life, instead of using humor to diffuse my anxiety and to create a positive interaction with the officer to help me get out of the ticket, I had attitude! It was obvious that my age was now working against me and no matter how I played it, I could not bring back those looks of 20 years ago. I could not change my age any more than a person can change their skin color. There was no going back for me or them. The only lucky one in this situation seems to be the young, White male who will age, eventually reducing his propensity for being stopped; provided of course, that the pressure for police quotas does not make every little driving infraction by every driver a revenue source for struggling cities. And of course, the only possible lucky ones in each of these scenarios are the temporary privileges of good-looking young women who take the ridiculous pressure off of police to reach quotas; if even for just a few minutes. So, as I was ousted from that exclusive club, the officer obviously working on a quota, doled out a very hefty $450 ticket to me that day rather than the standard warning of 20 years ago. Wow! So this is what it’s like to get profiled!  It is common knowledge in the Black community that Blacks get stopped more than Whites, hence the infamous Driving While Black slogan.  Driving While Black - TJ Holmes

But something else occurred to me on that day. I realized that this is exactly why it is so hard for people who are profiled, whether it be for age, ethnicity or gender, not to be disrespectful; especially when the unfair singling out is repeated and repeated and repeated. That third ticket, when my White privilege took a U-turn, was just an affirmation of how wrong our criminal justice system is and how much bias still plays into the outcomes and how hard it is to maintain one’s composure after experiencing so much injustice. And it is the poor and struggling who are hurt most, when their daily economic struggles are exacerbated with costly, time-consuming tickets.  Furthermore, these experiences have illuminated me about how police quotas factor into bias and racial profiling.

I suppose my White privilege has returned since then. Although I drive much more carefully, I know that my skin color is still saving me on the road. I have recently reflected on yet another experience of White privilege that I had without realizing it. It involved an ex-husband who used to have a drug habit; a habit that put him and me at incredible risk. I now know deep in my soul that he would have been in prison a long time ago if he had been Black and that I may just have had charges pressed against me back then if I had been Black because I discovered that there were many times when we were driving that he had contraband on his person and in my vehicle, unbeknownst to me. This seems to align with national statistics because Whites have higher rates of drug use than Blacks, yet we were just the lucky ones because we were never stopped!

Finally, in a sort of warped, time travel coincidence, my childhood awareness of Black/White disparities was reopened when I was working for six months on the White side of Palo Alto in 2008. I was astounded when I read a current story online in the SF Gate. Lynne Johnson  The police chief, Lynne Johnson, who eventually retired, instructed her officers to stop all Black males wearing “Doo rags” due to recent neighborhood robberies by a Black male wearing a doo rag. Yes! We have come so far, but we still have so far to go. I am sure they don’t stop all White males with beards when there is a crime by a White male with a beard in Palo Alto!

* Congratulations for making it to the end of this very long post! Just want to explain that I use Wikipedia frequently as a resource link to prevent ads from dominating resource information and to by-pass lengthy research published that would be ultra-boring to the layperson. I am happy to send any formal research on above subjects if you are interested.

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The Womanly Art of Listening to Our Bodies

First of all, I need to make a disclaimer. A portion of this post heading is taken from a wonderful and well-respected book by La Leche League I read over 38 years ago, “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.” I read it during a time when I was preparing for my first child and preparing for childbirth and beyond. This was my first lesson in learning to listen to my body.

This morning, some 38 years later and a lifetime of listening, I was awakened by this thought, “The Womanly Art of Listening to Our Bodies” and how even though the time may not be the best to write this, because I have scholarships to apply for and work to do to prepare for the next semester of grad school, I cannot help but listen to this message and put it out there.

The message is: Our thoughts and feelings (or emotions) are inextricably linked to our bodies! Once we recognize this, the knowledge is immensely powerful. I have been so fortunate to attract mentors and educational opportunities in my life from the days I was a pregnant teen at 15 to my life today, a mother of 3 and grandmother of 8; now the age of 54.

I learned from natural childbirth that “attitude IS everything!” If you think it is pain, it is painful! If you think of it as the process that brings you your angel, then it is manageable.

I learned from 7 years in La Leche League that if you always remember in the back of your mind that breastfeeding is a normal, natural process that mammals have been doing successfully for millenia and trusting this natural process, your milk will come and challenges are only bumps in the road, not roadblocks.

I learned from reading Adelle Davis’ “Let’s Have Healthy Children” that our foods are full of everything we need if we learn to trust the foods that have been provided by nature. We do not have to buy expensive food to nourish our bodies properly. By being more efficient with our food choices, we can bring health to our families within any budget.

I learned from my 10 years working in the field of biofeedback, that the mind and our inner emotions are incredibly powerful and that our body speaks to us continually. Whether we listen or not is the real challenge! When we listen, we reduce suffering and illness and increase our quality of life. When we ignore the signs, we suffer from a variety of ills, including accidents and injuries.

So much more to share and no time to do it right now, but I want to leave you with this thought, please take the time to just be quiet without any outside electronic or other interference at least once every day. Listen and acknowledge and make the little adjustments you know deep down that you will benefit from. Little by little, you will find that the simple adage “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” will improve your daily quality of life, your health and your future!

Until next time,
Granny Pants
(Oh yeah, this photo was taken of me in 2002. I just found it and had to use it to brighten my day. The Yuba River is in the background. Love that place!)

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January 20, 2013 · 6:48 pm

Number 8 is Just as Great!

I have to announce the latest wondrous occasion in our family: the birth of Dayton Simone, who came to us on July 30, 2010. She has the longest, most delicate fingers I have ever seen on a newborn and she uses them frequently to express herself. She smiles at everyone and NO, it is not just gas bubbles! 

Dayton Simone

Dayton Simone- Grandchild No. 8

Now this may seem like an ordinary story, but it is not. Yes, babies are born every day and have been since the dawn of time, yet I am always flabbergasted as to how miraculous birth is, no matter how commonly it occurs. 

This last birth of my 8th grandchild, was an at-home water birth in the true and gentle Leboyer style. It was about the smoothest and most beautiful birth I have ever witnessed in person or otherwise. I had my last 2 children at home in the care of experienced  midwives, though I always learn something new from each midwife I observe. Our last baby in the family needed to be transferred to the hospital during labor due to some risky signs because the midwife was being responsible. There IS a time for the hospital and RESPONSIBLE HOMEBIRTH means ensuring that there is a hospital close by (about 20 minutes) if it is necessary to transfer during labor and that there is a qualified and experienced birth professional there to monitor mother during labor & assist during delivery and post-partum.

This last midwife had delivered 750 births and had never lost a mother or a baby, which is probably a better record than most any OB/GYN could say. She knows that birth is a normal process, yet there is a time when medical back-up is necessary. THIS is RESPONSIBLE HOMEBIRTH. No responsible person would insist on birthing at home if there were risk factors or signs of fetal or maternal distress during pregnancy and/or labor. 

Yet, remembering that ANY medical intervention itself, especially unnecessary medical intervention, increases the risks to both mother and baby, is also a key to any RESPONSIBLE BIRTH, whether the birth is in the hospital or at home. Responsible choices increase safety by minimizing risks.

THE FOCUS OF CHILDBIRTH SHOULD ALWAYS BE “WHAT IS THE RESPONSIBLE THING TO DO OR NOT TO DO? ” NOT “WHAT IS THE MOST CONVENIENT THING TO DO?” Convenience is where we have made most of our mistakes with childbirth today. There are thousands of studies and articles to support this point so I will not belabor it. 

For THIS latest birth in our family, there were 2 midwives who worked as a team. They were absolutely wonderful, wise, and warm to everyone; especially in caring for our little angel, during and after her birth. What I loved most was that they encouraged Mom (my daughter) to breastfeed for almost an hour at the outset, as soon as the baby was able. This expelled the placenta naturally and created the stimulus Mom needed for milk production, while cleaning out Baby’s intestines & nourishing & protecting her with nature’s perfect newborn meal: colostrum. They were also very careful to ensure baby was latched on appropriately to prevent sore nipples. The correct help and advice makes all of the difference!

Hery family

The Morning After

You can read the whole birth story on my daughter’s blog: MamaHery.BlogSpot.com 

However, there is one thing you won’t read in my daughter’s birth story: What an absolutely blessed experience it is for a mother to watch her own daughter give birth, becoming a mother herself. There really are no words for being allowed to participate in this blessed event of bringing a new life into the world. Even though I have been lucky enough to witness this event 7 other times with my 3 amazing daughters and am so honored by each of their maternal bravery and instincts, and this was Sara’s 2nd. baby, it was much faster than any others in our family. It was practically effortless compared to all the others, including my own. It was a smooth and graceful water birth. The midwives were attentive, skilled & adept, working together like two experienced dancers. Sara was poised, receiving guidance from us all, resting on Dad’s body throughout the birth and cherishing the time with her new daughter on her chest afterwards, the natural location for any newborn.  My 15 year-old granddaughter, Tayler video-taped the entire event & witnessed this most humane form of childbirth. It really made an impression upon her because she has also witnessed the hospital births of her 3 younger siblings & commented on how easy this was in comparison.

One of the biggest benefits of homebirth, as I also experienced with my own, was to be able to naturally include big brother when he awoke the next morning. No mother-child separation. Our family was around, offering all of the peripheral support needed such as meals, care of big brother, laundry, etc. 

Yes, this is the 21st. Century. We have many many advances to make life easier. These advances are best served in our family, not with medical intervention to take the inconvenience out of childbirth, but to share these stories and photos of a natural normal process that is not necessarily better served with interference.

This was my 8th grandchild, my 12th birth experience, and my 3rd. homebirth experience. It was the most natural and smoothest birth experience of them all as we put technology in its place and refused to let technology take the place of the best humanity has to offer.

I take my hat off to my daughter Sara, her amazingly supportive husband Andrew, and Marlene and Kaleem, the two midwives from One Heart Midwifery. I trusted them implicitly and am so grateful they were there to make this birth of my 8th grandchild so perfect. I am also so grateful and impressed with their follow-up care of both my granddaughter, Dayton Simone, and my daughter, Sara. I have had no worries about incorrect advice because I know they are in good hands with qualified professionals that understand the true needs of  both Mother & Baby. They allowed Dayton Simone to enter the world nurtured & loved, not traumatized with unnecessary medical intervention or separation. 

This Grandmother is grateful, happy & blessed once again!  

me

My 3 daughters, newest granddaughter & myself: Granny Pants

You can follow my Granny Pants’ Daily Parenting Tips on Facebook or find out more about my services at ChameleaProductions.com

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Filed under Alternative Medicine, babies, Books, Breastfeeding, childbirth, children, community, cooking, Fathers, Grandchildren, Grandparents, Granny Pants, health care, La Leche League, mother, nutrition, Parenting, prevention, Stay-At-Home-Dads, The New Physics of Childhood

EXPLORE TODAY’S POPULAR MYTHS ABOUT CHILDREN!

 
 
 
"MYTHBUSTING TO THE RESCUE"

"MYTHBUSTING TO THE RESCUE"

POPULAR MYTHS ARE AFFECTING THE LIVES OF OUR INFANTS, CHILDREN, AND TEENAGERS AND MANY OF US ARE NOT EVEN AWARE OF THE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE SO SUBTLE.

 The new book, THE NEW PHYSICS OF CHILDHOOD: Replacing Modern Myths with Simple Strategies busts open these myths of modern child rearing.

“This book promises to expose, inspire, and possibly even shock adults into looking differently at all children and child rearing with a new set of eyes.”

We hear it every day on the news: childhood obesity, diabetes, and heart disease are on the rise, as well as cesarean births. Our children and teenagers are over-medicated and under-educated. It is obvious that all of these symptoms and challenges are connected and yet there is still a massive disconnect between the current parenting tools available and these escalating problems.

Without delay, modern child rearing practices are in need of a new, effective model. However, significant changes to the currently failed model of child rearing cannot begin until we get the root of the problem. THE NEW PHYSICS OF CHILDHOOD looks at the myths and the connections that have created these growing challenges in our global society.

As the author, I deconstruct today’s dangerous myths and replace them with practical wisdom and unique insights to help parents put their children and teenagers back on track and/or prevent problems from ocurring.

This book is not another parenting guide. It is a pragmatic philosophy focused on prevention. Though there are many parenting books with valuable information, most parents do not have the means or the time to purchase and read a book for every phase of childhood and neither do these books connect the whole child to the family, the community, larger society, and the environment like THE NEW PHYSICS OF CHILDHOOD.

This book gives all adults tools for supporting parents to make better decisions that affect the lives of children, because society is failing our parents, grandparents and other caregivers, who are also the victims of this mythology that is literally killing our children.

 THIS BOOK IS FOR:

  • Expectant parents
  • Seasoned parents
  • Caregivers
  • Grandparents
  • Focus groups (prison inmate re-entry programs, low-income parenting programs)
  • Teachers and early childhood educators

 DISCOVER THE MYTHS & LEARN MORE ABOUT THIS IMPORTANT PROJECT:  http://TheNewPhysicsofChildhood.com

 See You There!

Granny Pants

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Filed under 1, babies, Books, Breastfeeding, children, environment, Grandchildren, La Leche League, mother, Myths, nutrition, Parenting, prevention, teaching, teenagers, The New Physics of Childhood, Writing

The Power of Words to Inspire A Call To Action

That passionate artery of mine was flowing freely as I received my invite along with thousands of others this week. I became part of yet another Obama inspired online movement: The Citizen’s Briefing Book.

Actually, intending just to sit down and edit my manuscript, I committed the cardinal crime: I checked my email first. There it was, an invitation from Valerie Jarrett asking us to contribute ideas for President-elect Obama. Much like going to the grocery store hungry, this invitation fed me unlike past ones sent to Obama supporters since the election.  Without hesitating, I jumped in with the others that evening, voting on ideas for the president elect like filling my grocery basket, hoping each of my choices would make it into the book of ideas from us, his loyal supporters because this Citizen’s Briefing Book will be given to him to read.

How could I also make a statement that would encourage votes for my idea so it would make it into this book that that our future President Obama would read? With ravenous furvor, I typed a proposal that has been at the forefront of my thoughts for years as well as the main inspiration for the book I am writing.  In fulfilled haste, I proofread my idea for our next president and sent it off into cyberspace with the thousands of other worthy ideas, watching with baited breath to see what happened.

To my surprise, negative votes and posted comments started rolling in. Flush with concern, I realized instantly the error was in my word choice.  In the end, there was a (negative)-320 points with 14 posted comments.  I had used the word ‘mandate’, where I should have used ‘campaign’. This error contorted my message and inspired a call to action in the form of  inflammatory comments and negative votes. 

Curious as to what would happen if the wording was changed ever so slightly, I clarifyied my proposal by replacing the word ‘mandate’ with ‘campaign’, and shifted the title’s wording somewhat.

Without the word ‘mandate’, this revised idea gained positive votes slowly but surely, yet prompted no comments. In the end, it had a (positive)+490 points with only 1 comment.

What does this prove? Yes, anger does inspire action more than just a great idea.  A vote was easier than a vote with another step to write a comment, but if you were angry about the possibility of something you didn’t like becoming a reality, you jumped into action. In the end, the reception of my idea was positive and helped me find the pulse on how to communicate ideas more effectively.

As a postscript, I might just entertain the idea to inflame when I want to inspire a call to action; negative publicity really does work. (Kidding, I think.) Perhaps this is why so many of us came out in full force when John McCain picked Sarah Palin for his VP. 

What was my idea?

“Prevent Diabetes Where it Starts!” 

Beginning with a massive ‘campaign’ to encourage and support all mothers to breastfeed their babies exclusively for at least six months, thereby reducing the propensity towards obesity with infant formulas made with high fructose corn syrup, etc. 

To read the entire idea, go to: http://citizensbriefingbook.change.gov/ideas/viewIdea.apexp?id=087800000004wI6&srPos=0&srKp=087   

Let’s see if it makes it into the Citizen’s Briefing Book to President Obama.  For the sake of our country, our health care system, and our children, I hope so!

Christina Ivazes

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